Monday, June 02, 2008

Back in the...

It's been a little over one month since surgery, which I struggled to fit between previously-scheduled gigs. I actually played a wedding and Luceys Maze gig two weeks post-surgery and performing felt worlds better than sitting at home facing all that I could not do. Moving-the-harp muscles are different than affected-by-surgery muscles, a discovery of course made through simple trial and error.

Courtyard at COSI

Breaking and replacing a big fat 5th octave A string ten minutes before I was scheduled to play the wedding prelude this past weekend was an adrenaline rush, to say the least.

This is a strange time of year for the self-employed performer and teacher. For those outside the field, it's filled with excitement and anticipation over the schoolyear ending, increased energy from warmer weather, and vacation inclination thinking. But with students that take a "summer break" from lessons, a huge yard to clean- up / maintain and house still under renovation, somewhat slower than expected recuperation, a colleague (?) playing and securing gigs for 1/3 the going rate, and a tight budget to create due to increased and additional bills of all sorts, this time of year can feel downright frightening.

So it's back to consciously deciding (every minute) not to panic, and instead focus on intention and trajectory of the creative work I've committed to do, hoping the details become clear. Real life = hazy fertile middleground between heaven and hell.

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