Unmoored

Today I want something different
maybe really good pizza
or a very deep sleep
or a warm rushing water walk.
I am unmoored
searching the horizon
but the horizon is busy, overpopulated.

From the assinine sterile beeping bed
she searches my eyes
looking for an anchor
afraid she is making waves.
Afraid she is painting
a picture of pain
that I will buy.

I want to tell her: Don't think.
just breathe, breathe deep
there is nothing else to do.
You can't protect me from reality
I'm already here, by choice
by habit.

Close your eyes, just breathe
and feel
You've always been good
at not denying pain.
Our roles are reversed again
I'll navigate and steer
over the waves of fear and pain
while you absorb the quiet.