Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Do not panic

Here it is September already. Once upon a time, long long ago in a faraway land where the goal was to receive the right letter grade and gushing remarks from numerous authoritative figures, I had stellar goal making/achieving abilities. Progress was inarguable, measurable and blatantly obvious. Those goal achievement skills have either left me completely, or my goals nowadays are more complicated. I'd like to believe it's the latter. Another possibility -- I continue to believe the story that I need an external motivating source to get anywhere. Glaring Reality: If I want it to happen, I must take responsibility for making it happen. Oh.

Sub-categories of Glaring Reality;

1. Placing blame is pointless and a waste of time.
2. Laziness is not the issue.
3. Productivity is relative.
4. Fear is misdirected energy.

Ah, there it is, small and non-threatening in the distance -- the support issue. Decide now how crucial this is to your progress before it sneaks up on you from behind. I have personally sampled several flavors of Support so far this year. There is the paid counselor, the paid creativity coach, the unpaid just-resurfaced friend from eighteen (gulp) years ago, the partner and trying-to-understand family, and of course, dark chocolate, feta cheese, and cashews. Oh wait -- those last three jumped from the "Yes I'm dealing with it!" list to make their special appearance here.

I do know that none of these sources are effective unless I first decide -- yes, DECIDE, which is a conscious, present, and deliberate action -- to do it. DO. No one else can make me do. They can tell me to just get to work, plot the graph the chart the outline the list, that I am worth it and it will all be worth it in the end. But I must first decide to do it.

Here I am performing my own composition "Scarlet." Living the words: "There aren't any mistakes. There are opportunities for another direction."

1 comment:

  1. And here it is, almost October! :) I miss you and I hope you're doing well. You certainly seem booked and in-demand and I hope that is a happy thing. Take care, Jen (F) B